Travels of An Old Age Hero
by Zappingstar
Summary: The exciting tale of the return of Xalternia, the last of the powerful chickens that existed before the Gods came along.
1. The Untold History

Chapter One: The Untold History

Long ago, before the gods and the massive war they inflicted, lived a mighty species that stalked the lands unopposed. Man trembled in the emptiness of their lives, hiding in their stone caves to avoid the terror of having to witness the almighty beasts. With their beaks harder than anything from the earth, and stronger than any metal forged during the God Wars, the only thing the almighty had a chance of winning against was one of its own kind. Because of the human mind's limited mind capacity, they called them chickens because of the action that man always went through upon even the mentioning of the truly fierce. Slowly, the ferocious beasts began massacring each other, all in the name of power and territory. By the time the gods began to wake from their slumbers, only one of the almighty birds was left to oppose them. All the gods feared the chickens just as any other creature, but now realized that only a sole chicken remained. After a twenty day and three night long battle with it, the gods had finally won. Pooling all of their strength and magic together, an electric lime beam erupted from every pore of every God's body.

The beam raced towards the fowl, striking it exactly on target, and enveloping the entire mass of body until the beast began to shriek and roar. The gods lost their focus and the world began to shake until life was chaos and hell and then nothing but hell. Skies fell and earth rose and fought against each other in an eternal battle to break through first. Meanwhile, the chicken thrashed on the ground, and activated a power that none of the Gods thought possible, it shrank and shrank to a millionth of the original size, then began multiplying. The spectrum of colors that each feather once contained not was either a dull brown, black, or dusty white on each individual cloned chicken. In a frantic, the gods searched desperately to destroy the one true beast, but it was hopeless, millions of the squawking creatures now flooded the fields and meadows of Runescape. Throughout the entire history of Runescape, the god always feared the return of the almighty chicken beast. Now, after laying dormant for the god's duration of history, the sole chicken cracked open his safety egg, and placed his claws into the chicken-blood soaked earth…


	2. The Hatchling Xalternia

Chapter Two: The Hatchling Xalternia

Jack awoke to the screaming of his uncle on a morning just like every other day in the small Yanille farm his family owned.  
"Jack! Wake up you lazy bastard, the sun rose over two hours ago and your fat ass is still laying in that bed!"

The kid chucked the piece of charcoal from his bedside table at the bald bearded man standing just outside the doorway. The man walked over and shoved the black chunk in the kid's mouth and slapped him across the face.  
"No wonder your parents left to join the Ardougne cavalry unit, who the hell would want to deal with a stuck up little bastard like you?" the uncle shouted at the still laying down kid. "Now get up and get those damn eggs, you aunt hasn't eaten today because of your ass. Scat!"

At the speaking of the last words, the boy's bed flipped over, with its passenger still ignorantly clutching to the pillow and blankets. Jack scurried outside, pulling his flared trousers on over the expensive third age boxers he wore. Upon arriving at the chicken coop with most of himself dressed, he kicked a small hen sleeping in the late morning sun.

"It's your damn fault I have to get out of bed you stupid bird! What the hell are you stupid things good for anyways? You squat and drop some stupid terrible tasting white thing then just crow and get feathers all over the lawn. Which lame-ass god's idea was it to put you stupid things here anyways?"

The boy roughly shoved a few eggs into his unwashed hands, then took an axe in one hand and whacked the head off a nearby chicken that dared cross the kid's path. Behind it, an egg began to crack and a chick smashed the outer membrane. Jack grabbed the decapitated body of the innocent bird, and jumped over to the hatchling egg, and snatched it up in the other hand.

"See that you dirty little hatchling? Tha' better be a lesson to you when you're older." Jack spat, "Don' fuck with me or I'll do the same to you as I did with your friend there."  
He then proceeded to drop the cracking egg, and squeezed the blood out of the lifeless corpse of the former adult chicken, then bit into the raw meat and spat it at the egg. He then remembered the breakfast eggs his Uncle wanted, and ran off to the hut beside the chicken coop. A grin of malice and happiness flooded the sharp face of the young boy when he looked back to marvel in the damage he had done to the birds he hated.

At last, a claw emerged from the dripping red egg, a beak, and finally the blood colored feathers of its body. The beak and claws shined and radiated a brilliant bright green glow that intensified as they hit the blood soaked earth below it. The chick did a quick hop dance, threw back its head, and then increased in size until it was approximately thrice the size of the family's prize cow. The light cast from the metallic crimson feathers played around in the sun, as the chicken checked that all was well with himself. He scraped a claw on the ground three times, lowered his head until the glowing deadly beak faced straight ahead, and then charged at the house.

Jack grabbed for the butter across the table and began slathering it on his toast. A firm withered hand smashed into his crumb covered face

"Where the hell are your manners boy!" His aunt yelled, "You weren't raised a heathen so don't pretend like you don't know. Saradomin help us!"

Jack slammed the butter knife into the mahogany table. "Screw Saradomin! He's such a poser, Bandos could kick his ass any day of the week so shut the hell up you old bag!"

"I will NOT have this sacrilege at my dinner table. You think you're so strong and smart don' cha'? Why don' you come here and fight me like a man instead of harassing old ladies?" the bald man shouted, "I'll knock some sense into that spoiled little ass of yours!"

"Le's go old man!"  
Jack then slid the iron dagger off the counter and into his uncle's ribs. At that same moment, the wall burst towards them and the entire presence of the large chicken filled the house. A deep voice echoed outwards from the red and glowing lime beast.

"The time for the reclamation of this land has come. Bow to your almighty ruler and I shall leave you alone. Refuse and I crush your body until all that is left is a pulp the color of my feathers."  
"Ha, you wish you stupid egg demon," Jack said as he ripped the dagger from his uncle's chest, "you know what I'd rather do? Put this knife in your damn heart, then chop off the heads of every chicken outside then with the same axe remove yours and hang it above the fireplace. You can keep the head of my uncle comp-"

Jack flew across the room, his head impaled upon an expensive candle holder near the fireplace. The chicken strolled across the room to rip the body off, leaving only the bloody head with the same grin on his face he had earlier. It jumped and perched atop the roof of the house, threw the body towards the bank of the town, and then began inspection of his feathers. The voice bellowed from the chicken and could be heard all across Runescape.  
"I am Xalternia, the last of the almighty that once ruled this land. Your Gods are weak and their time is over. Be warned, and return to the caves and fear that your race is known for. I hunt those do the bidding of the weak Gods you praise. Death is coming to Runescape."


End file.
